These Are Some Good Ways To Impress A Bong Girl
Bengali girls are complicated creatures who have been bombarded with Tolstoy, Satyajit Ray, existentialism and feminism all throughout their life. They think they have a very important mission in their life which probably is saving street dogs and cats, holding hunger strikes for orphans in timbactu while drinking coffee with cigs.
Obviously this is an exaggerated stereo type but here is what they are impressed with.
- Read a lot of obscure stuff, go to college street and find the moth ridden book which is the first edition of a Hungarian writer who died of polio while trying to solve the existential crisis of having an affair with his grandmother.
- Be a singer. Bengali girls have been surrounded by guys who have been pumping the harmonium instead of iron all their lives. If you can sing a very lines of “Nissho Korecho Amay” and “Coffee Houser Shei Adda” in a grave voice with glasses and moustache on, she will get excited in ways indescribable.
- Have a cause. Be a student leader leading to improve non existent toilets in you college or adding another “Xerox” machine to your college library when the opposition party asks for decreasing library fines. Starting sentences with “Amader daito”(our responsibility) will add gravity to your statement no matter what follows whether if gheraoing the principle because he asked you to study or orchestrate a fight with the opposition party over location of entrance in school fest.
- Go to Calcutta film festival. Even the oldest man with the pencil thin moustache and thick glasses will insist they are not here for the x rated materials. Sit with her through the french movies in the film festival where a girl uses various parts of her body as a brush to draw on canvas. Then discuss about the creativity and out of the box thinking while sipping black coffee at Oxford book store in Park Street although yesterday you saw lady gaga do the same thing in her music video.
If all this does not work out, be rich, get a job in US and ask her to marry you. Her existential crisis will solve in a jiffy and all her anger about the Child Murdering Paschato (Western) Power will vanish like water vapor on a hot summer day and she will probably tell you previously she was going through a intellectual/revolutionar
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