These Are Some Good Ways To Impress A Bong Boy
To impress someone, sometimes things you do may not make sense rationally. Impressing a Bengali boy just might be it.
Please do not be a Dominatrix
Bengali boys are called a lot of things, mumma’s boy, wife’s bag carrier and none of these actually happen because we choose to do it. We are afraid that if we disagree, the shorsher tel(mustard oil) used to fry the fish in our household will be flung at us causing a multiple degree burn.
To some extent, we are kind of sick of thick glasses wearing, pseudo intellectual spouting females with cigarettes trying to dominate us. I understand that lot of wrongs has been committed in this country and are still being committed against woman, you taking the revenge on us in span of less than 2 generations and men of a single community (probably oriya men as well) is just unfair.
Please do not dominate us. After all relationships are compromises and not a competition. The reason Bengali men tend to have an opinion on everything and force those on other people is because at home we are never allowed to express them. We turn from mildly muscled boys to skinny fat old men with meek rabbit personalities chocking on scotch to continue living. Let us win 50% of the time and we would be grateful to you.
Be knowledgeable, yet do not let that define you
It would be fine if you read obscure texts and spout wikipedia like a fountain at Victoria memorial, but do not let that define you. Be subtle with your knowledge, nobody likes a showoff and do not assume a guy is an idiot just because you read some weird books on philosophy.
We appreciate girls who are knowledgeable about books,trivia, music and cinema. We would be delighted to know that you loved John Cleese in Fawlty tower but please do not go ahead and diss House of Cards just because you think it is too mainstream.
If you do think so, go ahead and date some poetry spouting, jhola carrying guy with facial hair sitting on Rabindra Sadan staircase and conduct discreet carnal activities behind the bushes of Academy.
Be a good Cook, at least the level of his mother
This is unfortunate but Bengalis are not minimalist when it comes to eating unlike Gujratis who seem to be happy with food with hydration levels below 10%. We like food specially mutton curry, luchi (glorified puri) and anything which can clog our arteries. Please be able to cook or atleast keep the number of Bhojohori Manna(Bengali Resturant) on speed dial in case midnight craving for fried hilsa occurs.
Nothing breaks a relationship in Bengal other than a girl who cannot cook (misogynistic yet true). If you are unable to make the Kosha Mansho (mutton curry) with luchi on a Sunday, you are better off with a guy who eats dehydrated flour byproducts.
Be classy and not crass
We always prided ourselves as classy people, perhaps a bit too stoic (thats the reason most of our weddings look like funerals, we sometimes combine them to save money.) We are allowed to stretch our body beyond the usual 3 degrees of confined motion only on Bhashan day (last day of Durga Puja). We like our women to be classy and not crass, breaking out into a dance at the slightest harmony (even a car horn).
Go on trips with him to Puri and Santiniketan
If you were a middle class bengali, Puri was your Rio de Janero (ahem ahem) and Santiniketan was cultural trip to Paris. I did love going to Puri and it is good to be at a beach where no one heckles you about Jet Skiing and Paragliding (I have issues with both). Due to the frequent visits to these location, partly due to love and partly due to Stockholm Syndrome (especially when it comes to Santiniketan), there is deep seated nostalgia associated with these two places.
Go on a trip with him to these locations specially when he is nearing 35 and let him find a Jhau Tree to hug and cry while he remembers his childhood memories. Be a part of this moment and he will be with you forever.
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